wtf am i doing in this job?

goddamnit im bored!!! this job is boring, sitting around in an uncomfertable chair and typing lame ass non discript thngs on the screen....this is not a man's job!! i would rather be a firefighter or a lumberjack...i'd rather be anywhere, doing anything but this....
What could i do...what does one do......you've got one life....need to do things that make some sense...in the prime years,instead making your bones weak in inactivity. I hate this!

Office space

My office has shifted to a new location. We have moved to Narangibaag lane, a laid back residential lane, tree lined on both sides. It is a soothing sight compared to the harshness of Nagar road.
The one rain that we have had so far, was a beautiful spectacle, with winds making the trees dance wildly. The many birds which reside in these tress make this quite an interesting place. Doves are in a plenty, and also Bulbuls, Parakeets and some others which I haven't been able to ID!

The office building is right in the middle of one of the most expensive residential blocks in the city.
A building coming up diagonally across the office will have one suite each floor, with its own swimming pool and jacuzi! You can only guess the price tag it would carry...
It took some time to adjust here, but since then its been good. Plenty of eating-out options nearby, which is a big plus point: there's KP and DP road, teo main streets with a few kms.

Thats it about the new office...

In Bruges

Can a hitman have a heart? If so, can it feel pity or remorse?what about guilt? Hitmen are people in the end anyway.

Can the above questions be core of a very well made , character driven, funny, beautiful looking piece of cinema? Well, yes.

It's called In Bruges. Like the title, it is almost entirely filmed in Bruges, Belgium.

Ray (Colin Farrell) is a fresh recruit and botches up his first job. He is sent away to Bruges with his older partner Ken(Brendan Gleeson) by their employer, Harry (Ralph Fiennes) to await further instructions.

There, the two invariably are affected by the city, the younger chap doesn't like the inaction of the place, and his guilt at killing a little kid in his first job starts overwhelming him. The older guy actually like the city a lot, with its medieval architecture and winding canals and cobbled pathways

The two interact with a host of characters which includes a midget (dwarf :)) actor from America, a beautiful drug supplier for whom Ray falls hard and an eccentric arms supplier who like alcoves; the story takes the turn when Harry orders Ken to kill Ray.

Collin Farrell is the champion here. His portrayal of the guilt ridden hitman is a superb mixture of vulnerability, recklessness, violence, absurdity and the edgy Irish humour. But his guilt is real, and he is honestly suicidal throughout the movie!

The two are trapped in Bruges, and forced to look inwards and contemplate their lives so far, and where they might be headed. Bruges is their Purgatory . It is here that they are stuck, between Heaven and Hell, waiting for their individual judgement days,

This is definitely a "different" movie. I was expecting a Hollywood style all guns blazing show, but it turned out to be something much, much better. A screenplay like this getting a chance into being made into a movie with two A list actors is a huge thing. I mean there is no Jason Bourne here!

And it was released in India! And I missed it there :( So had to watch it on HBO with heavy cutting of even mildly violent scenes, which was quite irritating. Not to add the muting of every Fook -a British movie without any F words! How sad...

A very gratifying watch after all.

The Dream

He was sitting in a room, which resembled a flight deck of a space ship – lot of buttons on the front panels, but what he remembered clearly was the huge window, tall and wide, showcasing the immense stretch of the stars that shone brightly outside, but he couldn’t tell whether the view was from a space ship or from earth.

He was there with his father, standing behind him. They were looking at the scene in front of them, and suddenly, the stars shifted, the whole sky shuddering violently, as if someone had shaken the camera of a live telecast, only it was right in front of his eyes. It was as if a massive earthquake had hit the skies, and made the stars shift their immortal positions. It filled him with an overwhelming sense of finality, like watching the last ball of an unchaseble target, the end to everything…and peace

Fear

Fear is the real denominator. It is the active force that pushes you…or freezes you. It is the liquid energy that can become hope, determination or shear power with time.

Fear is causal, always attached to something; it needs an anchor. It is felt in the chest, in the stomach, on the skin, on the tongue…everywhere. Fear belittles the ambitions, the free spirit. It cripples the presence of mind

It also forces unprecedented actions… under the pressure of fear, the rigid bonds in the mind are broken, for better or for worse…if for better, than one can soar as high as imaginable, and the fear of fear is shed exponentially with the height…but if for worse, then one becomes a black hole, sucking all the light and living in permanent cold darkness…the lights of hope are never there to break the tentacles of despair and melancholy.

Fear is the bitter pill that’s hard to swallow; it is both the pain and the cure. Fear is not the gun, but it is the hand that pulls the trigger, it is not the criminal, but the criminal intent – it is the ultimate pusher, catalyst, inflictor. It blinds the faith and wounds the soul.
Someone great said, “The only thing to fear is fearlessness”; we fear everything else but that.

the next life?

Where would you like to take birth in the next life?

I would like to be born in some other country, probably in Europe

Don’t you love India? Have you no respect and liking for your motherland?

Look, I like this country, to a certain extent…its complicated. I definitely don’t see things around me that make me proud of India. What should I be proud of, the unity in diversity crap? There are more divisions in this country than cracks on a shattered window pane. The India shining propaganda is as old as the non existent shine.

So, if I’m worthy of another human life, if at all it is there, I see no harm in saying I would like to belong to a better society. This answer has everything to do with the way I have perceived the society around me, all that this mind has witnessed over all these years – it is not a liberal progressive right wing India bashing- it sounds like it, but it isn’t. We are doing well in many ways, but there are fundamental flaws that undermine ALL the progress. It is hard to overlook the blaring negatives and say that we are the superpower of the future. Mass of the populous of this country lives just to see the next day. Talk about India Shining to them and you are bound to get a blank face. They’ll just say they want better roads, electricity…atleast an honest government. We don’t care about the GDP. Give us a better way of life. That is where this country has failed all along and it is failing as we live out our days